


The Way We Were

by mrslaurapetrie



Category: The X-Files RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-08-08 10:10:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7753600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrslaurapetrie/pseuds/mrslaurapetrie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry this took so long, blame school</p>
        </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The Way We Were

“I’m sorry do I know you?” Those were the words that have become so engraved in my head it’s like we’ve had this conversation many times, and well we have actually. We’ve had the jist of this conversation 22 times to be exact. I’ve counted and written down every conversation we've ever had. I wanted to remember, the good and the bad. I wanted to remember all of it....for her.

//

The first day we met was the day she moved into the neighborhood. She was moving into Mr. Ben’s old house. It'd been on the market forever. It was a good house, owned by a good family and the work she did to it was phenomenal, but I’m getting ahead of myself now. I spotted her the moment her small figure jumped off the large moving truck in the driveway. She was wearing a Felix the cat t-shirt, dark jeans and heeled boots. The choice of shoes made me laugh a little because I realized that minus the heels, she was even smaller.

Something I would later come to love about her.

I didn’t want to be strange and watch her move in, although seeing her haul varies size boxes was entertaining. Did I mention she was small? Anyways, so I went inside and tried cleaning the place up. My home was in need of some loving after having been caved in for almost 2 weeks. I had been working on my latest novel and since the deadline was creeping up quickly, I thought shutting myself from the world would spark my fuel into writing out the couple of chapters needed. So off I went into a cleaning frenzy while the short blonde woman with a cat t-shirt moved in across the street.

Later that evening my doorbell rang. I put my laptop aside, climbed out of bed and as I walked downstairs wondered who the hell was getting me out of my writing to answer this door. I got to the front door and opened it without even checking who it was first.

“Hey I’m sorry to bother you but do you mind if I use your phone? My cellphone died and my electricity wasn’t turned on today.”

I stood in my doorway, in boxers and a t-shirt, unsure how to get moving.

“Oh I’m sorry, you’re probably wondering who I even am, and I haven’t introduced myself. I’m Gillian, your new neighbor across the street.” And she held her hand out for me to shake.

_Move you idiot,_ but my body wasn’t listening to my head.

“Um, I promise it’ll only be for a sec. They were suppose to show over an hour ago but didn’t.”

“Yeah yeah, of course.” My hand went for the shake and gestured for her to come in. “Please, have a seat let my go grab my cell.” As I dashed upstairs to grab it, I put on some pants, and she took a seat on the blue plush couch.

_Dude relax, why are you racing?_ I was nervous and before heading back downstairs I took a breather and checked myself in the mirror. _Seriously?_

She was sitting and looking around, studying my living room décor when I made it down. _Man was I sure glad I cleaned up today_. When she heard me coming she turned around, making me inhale sharply as she directed her eyes at me. Wow were they blue. Were they this blue when she was at my door? They were the kind of blue you see in portraits at an art gallery, or a modified photograph. The kind of blue seen out at sea or on a perfect cloudless summer day. Her eyes were my favorite color blue.

“You write books?”

“I do. I’m currently writing another one. But it’s still very much in the works. Here you go,” I said handing her the phone. “Would you like something to drink while you’re here?”

“Some water would be good, thank you.” I left the room as she began dialing.

_Shit, I didn’t ask if she wanted cold or room temperature water. What about ice? Why am I over-thinking this, just get her some damn water man_. I grabbed a glass from the cupboard, filled it with some ice and water and headed back into the living room where she was arguing with whoever was at the other end of the line. _She may be small but she sure could put up a fight_. I set the glass on the coffee table next to where she sat and went back into the kitchen. I didn’t know what to do with myself so I too grabbed some water and slowly drank it leaning back on the sink. _I wonder if the color of her eyes changes when the sun is out_.

Fifteen minutes had gone by when she entered the kitchen. Gillian had my cellphone in one hand and the empty glass in the other. “Thank you so much for letting me use this.” She sat it on the counter space next to me. “And for the water. With no electricity, I hadn’t bothered to buy anything yet.”

“Sure, uh did you want some more water, or did you want to make another call for food?” I asked reaching for the empty glass in her hands. She handed it to me and said, “No that’s alright, I’m going to dine out somewhere, maybe explore. Not having electricity will give me an excuse to treat myself to a nice dinner,” she laughed. _Whoa, her laugh._

“Alright. And you should check out ‘The Falls’ if you’re going to dine. It’s all lit up and wonderful this time of year. It’s in the center of town.”

“Thanks, I may”, she began walking back towards the front door when she stopped and turned around. “I know we’ve just introduced ourselves, but would you like to come out with me?” I looked right at her as she spoke to me, listening to every syllable roll off her tongue. _Have her eyes changed to another shade?_ She spoke again, breaking the thought. “You don’t have to, I know I’ve intruded enough.” Gillian began her walk again to the door. _Shit no, say something._

“I’d like to.”

She looked up at me, “but I’ll need a minute to change.” She nodded her head and I went back upstairs, my stomach beginning to flip. I was clearly not planning on going to dinner with this woman, but I sure as hell was lucky I was. Her blue eyes were something. But it’s not just her eyes; it’s her laugh too. And not just her laugh but her entire manner. She’s kind. I mean I know it sounds crazy because at this point we’ve only spoken some sentences to each other, but I can tell. She’s also beautiful, have I mentioned that yet? Gillian has got this grace about her where it doesn’t matter what she’s doing, she’s doing it with such fluidity, such assurance.

I changed my shirt, put on some jeans and rechecked myself in the mirror. _It’s not that big of a deal, only dinner. Now put more deodorant on and get with it, she’s waiting._

I came back downstairs and Gillian was waiting for me by the door. “Do you happen to have a charger I could use? I don’t know where mine is and I figured with it being dead I could leave it charging?” I grabbed her cell and hooked it up to the charger by the lamp. “There you go.” She smiled at me and said, “thanks, you’re really saving me tonight.” I chuckled, “you seem more like the type of person who saves, not someone who needs saving.” She eyed me back, taking into thought what I’d said. “You’re right, but every once in awhile we all need a little saving, don’t you think?” Gillian opened the front door and we made our way out.

Yeah, we all need a little saving, and she was going to be mine.


	2. Chapter 2

At the restaurant, we didn’t have to wait long. It was the middle of the week and thankfully there weren’t a lot of people around either. As we sipped our wine and continued the typical ‘getting to know each other’ conversation, I learned that she had come from Chicago, was single, and was here to pursue theatre.

“And after that I knew I needed a fresh start and to push my work, focus on me.”

I was completely wrapped in her words. I hadn’t noticed before the beauty mark above her lip. They were full lips by the way. _I wonder what they feel like._ “Now what about you?” Gillian asked. I took a deep breath in and spoke. “I’ve lived here all my life. Not in the same area though. I too moved for my work. However my last breakup led me here. She looked at me directly as I spoke. “But it was good for me. Plus my agent is near, and the space here has been great for writing. You’ve moved into a good neighborhood. We’re a friendly clan, quiet, and every one knows each other. If you need a hand ever, just knock on someone’s door and we’ll be more than happy to help.”

“Well thank you. Yeah the pictures of the house online were beautiful. The structure of the home sold me right away. I knew I needed to buy it. Moving in today was the first time I'd actually stepped foot in it!”

“Really? Wow, Ben must have given you a deal. I was even starting to doubt if it’d ever sell.”

“He’s sweet. And accommodating! He did give me a steal, but honestly the house itself is a steal. Did you know it was built in 1923?”

“I did. When it was first put on the market I looked at it for myself. But it’s much to big for someone who takes up little space.”

“Your living room say’s otherwise.”

“What did it tell you? They’re lies I say, don’t listen to it.”

She laughed and I couldn’t help but smile. I’ve heard her laugh twice in one night. _Keep it up._

“All good things. But it told me you were a writer, you have a degree in English Literature, and you love music.”

My cheeks began feeling warm as this woman spilled my greatest loves. The waiter walked up and asked if we wanted another bottle of wine. I looked at Gillian and reading my mind said “No, two’s my limit.” The waiter was looking at her even though she was speaking to me. “No wine then, but we’ll take the check now.” As he walked away I felt a slight hint of jealously shoot up. _He’s allowed to look at her_. I knew better and I knew better with her. She was a strong woman and we’d just met, I wasn’t going to try and over-step a territory that wasn’t mine.

He brought us our bill and as much as she insisted, I paid for dinner. “Aren’t you my prince charming tonight.” I smiled at her and she smiled back with a look in her eyes. _Was she flirting with me_? Her eyes sparked in a way they hadn’t all night. _Play it cool man_.

“My treat. Think of it as me welcoming you to the neighborhood.” We smiled at each other once again. _Note to self: make her smile whenever possible, it’s mesmerizing._ Soon after, we left the restaurant and made our way around ‘The Falls’.

“You’re right, it’s splendiforous.” The lights, the soft music playing through the speakers and the shine in her eyes, it was all really divine. From one look, you could tell she was taken by this town, this spot. I wish I had taken a picture that night. It was our first night out together. But more importantly, it was the night I knew she was going to be the one. The alluring woman in the alluring city had stepped into my heart, little did she know.

We continued our walk down the cobbled stone path when we found a small ice-cream shop and went in. We both got one scoop, I vanilla toffee and she lavender honey. “My treat” she said, looking up and giving me a wink. _That’s flirting right?_ My brain was wracking itself trying to figure out how to flirt back. I seemed to be a tad rusty and she was just so perfect. She was still wearing what she had on that day, t-shirt and jeans but she was now putting her hair in a ponytail. Holy fuck, the urge I had to fight to kiss the skin on her neck. It looked inviting and soft and my lips needed to fill the crook between her jaw and shoulder. _Get a grip man, you’ve seen a women’s neck before._ The voice inside my head was right, but the others was nothing compared to hers. I let my mind wonder, thinking about placing soft slow kisses where her neck curves. Did she have a sensitive spot? Maybe in the dip of her collarbone or right behind her ear?

“You ready?” I snapped back and so did my other head. _Focus, you’ve just met her._ “Yeah” I said in a different octave, coughing to cover it up. We walked around the fountain in the center of ‘The Falls’, finding a nice spot to sit.

“You haven’t said what your new book is about” I spooned another bit of my ice cream before responding, trying to think of the simplest summary.

“It’s about a father and son. They make up for lost time and there’s some baseball in there. I’m still treading through it”

“Baseball huh? You a big fan?”

“I am. New York Yankees. You?” She began shaking her head, setting her ice cream aside, repositioning herself on the bench. “Not really. I’ll watch the finals and superbowls, but no.” Gillian moved her arms around to hold herself, shivering lightly as a new wisp of wind hit us. I got up to throw my ice cream away, taking my jacket off as I returned to the bench. _Aren’t you glad you carry a spare now?_ She looked up at me, her blue eyes yet another shade of blue. _Do they change with temperature too?_ “Oh no, you don’t have to.” I continued my movement and let my jacket rest on her shoulders. I let out a laugh and she looked at me questioningly, her eyebrow arching up.

“What?”

“Nothing, my jacket clearly does not fit you.” She chuckled at the realization and smiled.

“But it’s warm! So thank you.”

As I sat back down, I continued looking at her, looking at the tiny thing in my jacket. It wrapped around her completely, more like a blanket than jacket. I chuckled again and she gave me the biggest smile. My heart skipped a beat, the child-like smile and blue eyes were too much for me. I looked down at my feet, giving myself the chance to pull myself together again to meet her eyes.

When I did, she was looking at the lights. She really was beautiful and I could have stared at her looking at the lights all night. The way the night hit her face, it accentuated her features. The sharp line of her jaw, the straight line of her nose, the curve of her cheek, it was all hitting me fast. My mind began to think again, wondering what it would be like to hold her face between my hands, to graze her cheeks, and run my thumb across her bottom lip. _Fuck, her bottom lip._ Gillian was biting her lip to help control the shivers that were becoming more frequent and it sent a straight signal to my friend downstairs. I wanted to kiss her bottom lip, pull it between my teeth. She must have felt me staring because she then turned to me, holding my gaze.

“Are you ready? I don’t think I can bear the cold any longer.” I nodded and motioned for her to lead the way. No way was I going to get up first with the thoughts I was having only seconds ago.

The drive back was quiet. I had let her control the music and a low melody began to spill from the speakers. When I pulled up to my house, she took off my jacket and handed it back.

“Thank you for tonight. You were right, ‘The Falls’ is wonderful.”

“You’re welcome. It’s one of my favorite spots. A good distraction from writing, or anything in fact.”

Gillian smiled at me once more before opening the door and getting out. As she stood up fully, she grabbed a hold of the car. “You okay there?” She held a hand to her head and waited before responding “I’m fine, I think that wine is hitting me now.” I was walking around to her when she looked back up, opening her eyes.  

“Would you like me to walk you?”

“No, I’ll be fine” she said seeming kind of embarrassed.

“Okay, but I’m standing here until you get in.” She held her hand out to me to shake and thanked me again for tonight. When she made it to her front door, Gillian turned back at me and waved. Once she disappeared into her dark unlit house, I retreated into mine. The warmth of my home hit me and my body began to relax. _Wow._

“She’s something,” I said to no one in particular. I set my jacket down, kicking my shoes off as I made my way to the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and switched off the lights, heading back upstairs. I was halfway up when there was a knock on the door? I walked back down wondering if it could be her. As I opened the door, sure enough there she was again.

“I forgot I left my phone charging”

“Oh yeah, let me grab it for you.” I went over to the lamp, unhooking the phone from the charger. As I turned around she was leaning against the walkway. _She changed clothes._ She was wearing light blue pajamas bottoms and a thin gray t-shirt, from which I couldn’t help but notice her perked nipples. My dick twitched in the confinement of my jeans and I had to quickly look away. _Chill dick chill._ She eyed me, knowing I had caught a glimpse and my cheeks began warming again. 

I handed her the phone and she continued standing in front of me, looking me in the eyes. She was slowly moving her face close to mine, rising on her tiptoes. She had switched out of her heeled boots and into black sandals and the height difference was noticeable. Thinking this was going somewhere I began moving towards her too. Her hand moved up, passing my cheek, and her eyes moved to the top of my head. “Here, you have some lint in your hair.” Gillian picked the lint out of my hair and went back to resting flat on her feet. “Oh...thank you,” I said almost too quietly. Looking back at me she flashed me another smile. Rising up on her tiptoes again, she kissed my cheek. She knew what she was doing. But I, a man helplessly falling in love with this small blue-eyed blonde, cannot deny I loved the tease.

“Thank you for tonight, I had a lovely time” If my face wasn’t warm from before, it sure was heated now. “Uh me too, yes thank you. I mean you’re welcome, I had a good time too.” She laughed lightly looking down at her feet and I looked away too, cursing to myself. _Smooth dude._ “I’ll be going now, you sleep tight David. 

I stayed on my porch, watching her once again as she walked through her door. This time she didn’t turn around to wave at me and I couldn’t help feel a bit of sadness.

We’ve only had one meal together, one night out, but I already knew this woman....she was something else.


	3. Chapter 3

Days had passed before we saw each other again and I was peering out of my blinds more than usual to see if maybe I'd catch a glimpse of her. And on some nights my mind was lost thinking of her. Of how soft her skin was, how it would feel to press my lips onto the curve of her neck. My hips jerked forward as I laid in bed, my mind beginning to lose track again. I imagined her walking in, in her blue pajama bottoms and that fucking thin grey t-shirt. The memory of her perked nipples sent a straight signal to my dick. I palmed my erection, trying to keep this imagination under control. But I couldn’t help myself. I thought about Gillian making her way to me, climbing on the bed, crawling towards me. She moved my hand, taking my member out of my boxers. “Let me, my treat” she’d tell me with a smirk on her face. Her small hand wrapping around me, beginning to stroke me. My head fell back, letting the feel of the build run through me.

“Fuck” I whispered out. My orgasm was building fast as I continued thinking of her kneeled in front of me, her hand doing wonders. I imagined her licking her lips, this was turning her on too. She goes to take me in her mouth, her tongue circling the tip slowly. My low moan at this thought was stopped abruptly.

“Are you kidding me?” The phone was ringing. As I tried to continue this fantasy, my mind couldn’t focus on her anymore. The ringing was loud and I lost concentration.

“Hello” I said shortly into the phone. It was my agent. I rolled my eyes as the conversation went on and by the time we got done talking about the new chapters I had written, the fantasy of her was long gone.

“Well goodnight to me.”

//

The morning after next I woke up early for a run. Stretching on the porch ready to take off, I saw her. Gillian was out checking her mail. She was still in her pajamas but this time her attire was covered with an almost pink silk robe. _You’ve got to be kidding me._ She must have just woken up but she looked hot as hell. We haven’t spoken since her first night here and my mind was burning with questions. How was she getting about? Was she all moved in? Has she found everything okay? Did she need help with anything? I hope she was. I hope she was loving the town I called home.

“Morning”, I heard her call out to me. I looked in her direction and she was waving at me.

“Good morning” I called back, deciding then I needed to courage up and go talk to her. I jogged to her porch as she finished scanning her mail.

“Hey you” her voice was different, _her morning voice_.

“Hey, how’ve you been?”

“Good, my electricity was finally turned on.”

“So I saw. I mean I figured.” _Yeah, give away that you’ve been watching her._ “How are you settling in?”

She slid the mail under her arm and went to adjust her robe. She was wearing pants but no top. _Don’t look, do not_. It was too early to let my mind go there.

“Great,” giving me a smile. “Do you want to come in? I have a pot of coffee going?” I usually took my coffee after running but for her, I made the exception. I wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass by.

“I’d like that.” She walked in and I walked in right behind her, the smell of rose incense hitting me. Her home was far from ordinary. She had tapestries hanging from the wall, small statues, colorful pillows, and paintings filling every space possible. Her home wasn’t cluttery, but it was far from empty. I could see now that though the house seemed too big for one person, it was an absolute fit for her.

“Do you like?”

“I do. The paintings are exquisite. Do you collect?”

“Yup. I don’t have much, but I’ve got my collection of sorts.”

I continued looking around, picking up details of who she was and who she is along the way. From photographs I learned she had been to Thailand, London, and South Africa. A traveler. The photos gave no justice to her beauty.

“Those are from my youth,” she said to me, noticing me eye them on our way to the kitchen. “They seem so long ago.” Entering the kitchen Gillian gestured for me to sit. Her kitchen was simple. She had lots of color, but all very organized. I sat on a bar stool around the island.

“I have milk, sugar, creamer. How do you like your coffee?”

“Black is fine.” Gillian poured two cups and handed me one. She took her coffee mostly black, adding only a splash of vanilla creamer. “I like it black but I can’t take it all black. I need a little something sweet” she explained herself as she put the creamer back in the fridge. After mixing her coffee, she took a sip, sighing with pleasure at the taste and warmth of it. I couldn’t help but take into consideration if that was a sound she makes in bed too.

“So tell me, any more chapters to your book?”

I wasn’t expecting to talk about my work, not that I minded, but I wanted to hear about her.

“Not really. I’ve gotten writer’s block. Hence why I’m up early for the run. I thought maybe it could help open some doors, relax me.” Gillian let out a chuckle at the mention of running.

“Sorry, it’s just I don’t run. It’s hard for me to picture how that could be relaxing, all that moving. I’m more of a meditator.”

“Running is sort of like meditating. You’re focusing on where you’re going, balancing out the pace and exertion.”

“Hm, you have a point, touché David,” she said, raising her cup to me. I raised it back, taking a sip. “Aaah” I voiced, it was still too hot for me to drink. Gillian looked at me with concern, “Oh I’m sorry. Too hot?” I nodded in response. “Yes, but it’s fine.” She moved to the freezer, pulling some ice cubes out and carefully slipped them into my coffee.

“There, that should help.” I gave her a smile, feeling a little shy for her having to go through the trouble.

“Thank you”

We continued our little conversation back and forth, having another cup of coffee each in between. As she spoke, she again mesmerized me. This time I was speaking to her in the light, in the shine of the sun. It hit her from behind, coming from the kitchen window. The light was giving her an almost halo-like appearance. This was the same Gillian I had dinner with, but it was day Gillian. She was filled with more energy, more to share, and more of the day to look forward to. I also fell for this Gillian.

“Care for one?” she asked, holding up a hand rolled cigarette. “I know it’s a nasty habit, which I’m trying to break, but I’m in the mood.”

I haven’t smoked since first enclosing myself off to ditch out those chapters and I didn’t usually have one unless I was writing. “Um”, I didn’t exactly need one, but I knew that it would help me relax. “Sure.”

I followed her outside to the patio where we were going to smoke. The back yard was very clean cut. And only the corner on the right had the beginnings of a garden happening.

“Do you smoke often?” I asked.

She took in a drag, blowing out slowly. _Fuck fuck fuck_. I could feel my dick harden as I watched the smoke leave her lips. Those full plump lips.

“Not really. I’ll have one once every blue moon. But today I’m kind of nervous. I’m waiting to hear back on a gig.”

“Oh, what kind”

Taking another hit she responds, “An acting one.”

I widen my eyes, “Wow, how exciting.”

“I’m glad to be getting work, but it’s not exactly the area I want to be headed. It’ll pay rent though, so I shouldn't complain.”

“I understand. Something is something for now.”

She nods in agreement and we continue our smoke in silence.

I finished my cigarette, looking over at Gillian and she’s staring at me. I met her head on, not wanting to be the first to look away. Her eyes were powering for such a small woman. She is a strong woman though, I shouldn’t be too surprised that her eyes would hold as much strength. And yet I was when I also noticed they were a different color blue. A little darker than usual.

Continuing to look at me she got up and walked my way. _Wait, where are you going?_ She was coming over to me, our eyes still locked. _She’s coming to you doofus._ Bending down to reach for my face, Gillian kissed me. Her full, soft lips were kissing mine. “I’ve been wanting to do that since we first met." She went to kiss me again and deepened the kiss. I wasn’t sure what brought this on, but I wasn’t going to stop and ask.

Her lips were just as I’d imagine. Velvety and full, the fullness of them intoxicating. Breaking the kiss, she looked from my lips back up to my eyes. “You’re a good kisser. 8 out of 10.” Gillian stood up and walked back inside. I followed her, taking the last swig of coffee left in my cup. She set her cup in the sink and held her hand out for mine, doing the same. She came back towards me, walking past me, glancing up to flash me those now darker blue eyes. _What is she doing?_

“Coming up?” she asked stopping on the second step of the staircase. Her eyes were glowing and I didn’t know how I could even say yes without fumbling over my words. _Speak man, the lady is talking to you_. But I couldn’t get my voice to leave my mouth, so I nodded and followed her upstairs.

Gillian stopped in front of her bedroom door, tiptoed to close the space between our faces and slowly put her lips on mine. I know it had probably been less than 5 minutes since our lips were last touching but I missed them. I deepened the kiss, wanting her to know that I too wanted this even if I couldn’t find the words. She parted her lips, allowing me entrance, and I slipped my tongue into her mouth. She tasted like coffee and cigarettes. We went back in forth, swirling our tongues together. She went to move her hand behind her and opened the door, backing us into the bedroom. Gillian broke the kiss, locking her eyes on me. Her eyes were definitely darker and this new shade of blue was something worth remembering.

“Bed” she said, moving her head towards the direction of her king size. I stood in front of it and she pushed me back on it. I landed on my elbows and was a little stunned at the force she used to push me. I watched her undo the tie on her robe, open it unhurriedly, letting it slide down her shoulders. She was ravishing 

Her nipples hardened as my eyes looked her up and down, speechless by just how stunning she was. She came towards me, straddling me and locked our lips together once again. Her tongue was back in my mouth and I was lost. Our warmth was making my skin feel like a hundred degrees. I rested my hands on her hips, not wanting to rush but she quickly moved them up to her breasts. I heard her give a low moan as my palms gave them a squeeze. They fit perfectly in my hands and I couldn’t help pinching her nipples, tugging at them lightly. I moved my lips down to begin my way down her neck. I was finally kissing her in all the places I'd only ever thought of. Kissing her was more than I could have imagined. Her neck was smooth and I bit and sucked in the spot I wondered about. Gillian purred and I knew I had hit gold. _Remember this_. I continued the trail down her right side and took her nipple in my mouth. Swirling my tongue, teasing it, I didn’t want to stop. “The other one” she breathed out, her hips beginning to slowly rock against me, my erection beginning to strain against my clothes. I did as I was told and took her left breast, giving it the same care.

Searching for the end of my shirt, she quickly tugged it up and over me. “Hm, running does have its benefits,” Gillian said, pushing me back to lay on the bed. She kissed and licked down my chest and I had to look away. _Your hot neighbor is about to go down on you, you better look up_. Unbuttoning my pants, she pulled out my more than ready erection and took me whole.

“Holy fuck.” This was happening and I couldn’t even look. I knew if I did I was going to end this party early.

I managed to think of something else to focus on, to keep going and I looked back down at her. _Fuck was she a sight to see._ Kneeled in front of me, her lips were wrapped around my cock and stroking me like she had read some manual on how to exactly work me. She had a secure grip and added a firmer grip every time she hit the base. I could feel my orgasm building but I didn’t want it to be like this. I pulled her away, her face puzzled. “Not like this” I said. She moved her way up like she had moved her way down, stopping lastly at my lips for a kiss.

I moved my hands down, giving her butt a firm squeeze. Slipping a hand into the band of her bottoms, I smiled as I realized she wasn’t wearing underwear and I grew harder. I was aching to be inside her but my need to taste her was beating that. I began tugging her bottoms downs and she rolled over, helping me. I took advantage of this and began a long lick from the middle of her breasts down. I was right where I wanted to be and blew lightly at her center. Gillian shivered and I parted her lips with my tongue. She was so wet and I was tempted to just begin the main event but I couldn’t. She was sweet and the sight of her laid out in front of me for my eyes only could have made me cum. Her head was tilted back, eyes were closed and she had one hand on her breast. Her hips were beginning to grind against me as I licked her. I slipped two fingers in, circling her clit with my thumb. She inhaled sharply and let out a groan. _Fuck I’m not gonna last._

Her back arched as I picked up the speed and she jolted her hips up at me. Her breathing was picking up and I could feel her walls tightening around my fingers with each pump. I licked her one time, slowly, this quickly becoming one of my favorite things. I let my tongue slide in her folds and Gillian shuddered.

“Don’t stop.” She wrapped her legs around me, pushing my face further into her and I sucked hard on her clit, earning a breathily “Daaavid.”

Feeling her tighten around me again, I stopped. She abruptly looked down at me with an annoyance, “Hey!” 

“Trust me.”

Giving me a huff, she laid back down. I worked my way up leisurely, making sure to kiss every inch of the imaginary line I had created going down. Getting to her neck, I whispered, “I’m sorry” and pulled down hard on her earlobe. Giving me a loud whimper I could no longer take not being inside of her.

I positioned myself on top and looked into her eyes, the fire more prudent and she gave me the okay. I teased the outside of her folds with just the tip working first up and then down, spreading her wetness and I slipped inside.

Neither of us moved, reveling in the feel of being this connected. I pulled back, ready to enter her again when Gillian wasted no time in telling me how she wanted this to go down.

“Fast.”

I groaned in approval and slammed into her. She wrapped her arms and legs around me, letting me sink in deeper. With each slam I could feel her nails digging lower into my back. Knowing she was going to leave her mark, I also took part in leaving mine. I bit down hard in the sensitive spot and in response she roughly grabbed a fistful of my hair. We were picking up a fast rhythm, our bodies in a hot sweaty sync. The heavy breathing, thrusting hips, it was all exhilarating.

Gillian faced me again, keeping our lips close but not touching. I pressed my forehead to hers, feeling her hot breaths on my face. I wanted this and I wanted her, all of her.

Her eyes closed and she began to pulse around me. Her cheeks were flushed and her mouth was open, heavily breathing now. _What a sight._ I knew she was near the edge and I thrusted faster into her, moving my hand to where we were connected, my thumb teasing her clit. Her fevered breaths were in my ear and in no time she went still, huskily voicing my name and that becoming my release. I gripped the sheets and she gripped me closer. We both went down, melting into the bed, letting our orgasms ripple through us.

Breathless and panting I rolled off her. _Holy fuck. Did we just? And why do I want to go again._

“Shit” she said, catching her breath.

“Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long, blame school


	4. Chapter 4

It would seem like we have rushed into things. I mean sure I knew that first night that she was the one but you’re probably wondering why she kissed me, basically out of nowhere.

We were in love. No scratch that, we are still in love. I don’t care that she doesn’t love me first thing in the morning, or that I always have to remind her who I am, I don’t. We are still in love as long as I have this.

//

“Don’t forget the bags in the backseat,” she called back at me, unlocking the front door with her hands full of other bags. In the ones I grabbed, I saw the teas and the pills. I let out a long sigh, realizing they were becoming more persistent.

After our first time, we laid next to each other, silent. I didn’t know if she was disappointed or if I had hurt her. I couldn’t stand the silence and simply asked her, desperately needing to know. She didn’t answer right away, but when she did, she said “No its not you, my head, it’s pounding.” She spent the next few minutes with her eyes closed and I got up, putting my boxers on along the way. I went downstairs, got her a cold glass of water and came back up. When I walked back in she was standing in her bathroom, hunched over the sink.

“Here,” I said, handing her the glass. Gillian took the glass and opened her medicine cabinet, taking two small pills.

“Thank you” she said. “I’m sorry. It’s passing already, but when I get them, its knocks me over at first.”

“Don’t apologize, they aren't your fault.”

She kissed my lips and went to turn on the shower. Letting her robe fall down her skin once more, she looked at me with those eyes, “Care to join?”

After having a steamy shower, we enjoyed each other’s company over pancakes, eggs and bacon. In the middle of talking about her first job, Gillian’s phone rang.

“Yes, I am confirming.”

Walking back to the table I looked up at her. “Sorry the doctor. I’m having a check-up next week and having extra scans done for these headaches.” 

“Are they occurring a lot?” 

“Yeah. I mean they’re all the same, painful at first, which I thought were normal migraines. But they’ve been happening a lot more since the move. It may be my body adjusting to this climate, but I want to make sure.”

I nodded at her response. When was the last time I got a check-up? I decided then too to call my doctor and set up an appointment for next week.

// 

Sitting in the waiting area, Gillian flipped through some magazines and I scrolled through some emails.

“I’ll wait until they call you to leave for my appointment,” I said not looking up from my phone.

“You can go now, it’s okay.” She had hinted before she didn’t like waiting, it made her too anxious, so I kissed her temple and stayed sitting. 

“Anderson! Gillian Anderson!” the nurse in maroon scrubs loudly voiced.

“I’ll be on fourth floor, first room to your left.”

Nodding at the information, she bent down for her purse and followed the nurse back.

I watched her as she disappeared behind the beige door and then left for my own appointment.

Waiting in another room, another nurse in blue scrubs this time came out and called my name.

“Hi” she said sweetly.

“Hello, how are you?”

“I’m doing well, how about yourself? 

“So far so good.”

The nurse in blue scrubs proceeded to check all the general stats, blood pressure, weight, and height. She then led me to an empty room and gave me the ol’ ‘take your clothes off, the doctor will arrive shortly’ command.

There was a knock on the door, followed with a “May I come in?”

“Yes” 

The doctor came in, asking me how I was doing and asked a couple of non-related medical questions too. He’s been my doctor for sometime now so he knew about my personal life.

“And the new book? Will it be on shelves soon?

I chuckled, “No I don’t think so. I am almost done but we haven’t even begun putting it all together. Maybe in another year? At least I hope in another year.”

He smiled “Well don’t take to long, you know Laura and I love your books.”

“You know you’ll both get early copies as always.”

“That’s why you’re my favorite patient.” I gave another chuckle and he went along with the check up.

Wrapping up, he checked my lungs last. I gave him a couple more deep breaths and he gave me a puzzled look when he went to put his scope back around his neck.

“You haven’t been sick have you? Overcoming anything?”

“No.”

“I didn’t think so.” Doctor Petrie went to scribble something on my chart and turned back to look at me. “I don’t want to alert you but it doesn’t sound all that clear. Since I can’t see and only hear your lungs, I’m going to have the nurse set you up with an x-ray, so we can see what's going on. If that’s alright?”

“Of course.”

The doctor turned back around to scribble more onto my chart and folded it closed. “Okay, I’ll send the nurse back in to take you for the x-ray and I’ll be back.” I gave him a nod, and he left. I hopped off the examining table and grabbed my phone from my pants pocket. I unlocked it and had nothing from Gillian. Good, she’s not waiting on you. I went to our messages and typed out that I was probably going to take another 30 minutes here and pushed the lock button. A few moments later she replied, “I’m getting dressed and I’ll be down soon, no worries xx.” As I was hitting reply the nurse knocked on the door.

She took me down for the chest x-ray, brought me back and I waited for the doctor. There was another knock at the door and I told them to come in.

“Oh, you can get dressed now. I’ll be back in a few.”

I was left alone again and got dressed. Sitting back on the table, I checked my phone. I had another message from Gillian, and it included an image. I laughed out loud as it was a selfie of her sitting outside, with the most bored expression. The message under it read “I am bored as hell and hungry. Can we grab lunch after?” I reply with a laughing emoji and typed “Yes!”

Doctor Petrie came back in and put my x-ray up on the illuminator. I glanced over it, seeing a normal x-ray.....until I saw the black. He pointed to it, explaining that it was a small mass and it could be something benign.

“I know you don’t have a history of cancer but I still urge you to let me biopsy it. We could do it today and we’ll have results in a few weeks if you’d like.” I sat there, still trying to understand that I had this black spot on the side of my lung.

“David?”

Focusing back on his voice, “Um, yeah. Let’s do that.”

After another 45 minutes, I was walking out of the doctor’s office with Gillian by my side. I was loopy from the anesthesia and probably said sorry 20 times before she got me in the car.

“I’m viiiiiice.” She giggled at my mishap. “I mean fine. Ha! It rhymes. Vice, lice, mice, I like rice.” Her giggle was higher that time and I let “I love your laugh” slip from my lips. Paying no attention to me and focusing on getting my legs in the car, she shut my door and hopped in the drivers seat.

“Come on” she kindly said to me, pulling on my arm. We'd made it home but my drugged out self was not making it easy on her to help me inside.

“I’m gonna plant you some flowers. Mhm mhm. All kinds! Wait do you like all kinds? Oh! How about kale? Do you like the greens?”

Gillian smiled and continued helping me inside as I bombarded her with questions.

Setting me on the couch, she left in search for water. Returning I let another slip of words fall out of my mouth.

“You’re pretty. You’re sparkling today. Have I mentioned that before? Because I think it aaaaall the time. Gillian, Gillian, Gillian. Sparkling, sparkling, sparkling.”

It’s a good thing I was so loopy that day, and that she let it all slide. I may have been loopy, but I meant it. She was absolutely stunning.

“What do you want to eat? Chicken noodle soup or tomato soup?”

“Chicken, chicken sounds good. I mean, poor chicken, but yeah I’ll take chicken.”

I smiled at her like she brought down the moon and hung up the stars, which technically she did for me. Leaving me in the living room she went into the kitchen to place the order and came back.

We sat on the couch, sitting next to each other enjoying our meal. By the end of it, the meal had settled my post anesthesia loop.

“Thank you"

“For what?” she looked over to me.

“This” I said, moving my eyes to scan everything in front of us.

She gave me a shy smile and I moved to give her a chaste kiss. Moving back to look her in the eyes, Gillian moved her hand to the back of my neck and pulled me back for another kiss. Through our kiss I mumbled “Go on a date with me.” Without breaking our kiss, she smiled and nodded her head.

//

The following week Gillian and I had our first date, well technically speaking. I sorta count our first date the night we first met, but she doesn’t know that.

I rang her doorbell at 7:26pm. I told her I’d come around 7:30ish to pick her up and my excitement was bursting through me. We had been at the farmer’s market all day and when we got back she kicked me out so we could be ready on time.

“Coming” I heard her yell.

Answering the door in a long black flowy dress that showed off her shoulders, I stood there taking a deep breathe in. She looked marvelous. Although the dress had a flow, it was cinched around her waist. The straps on her shoulders added to outline her figure. And from standing under the light I couldn’t help but noticed she wasn’t wearing a bra and her nipples were out, greeting me too.

“I’m all set,” she said, closing the door behind her. I quickly looked up.

“Yeah yeah, I’m ready. I mean okay, let’s go.” I turned my back to her walking down the steps and tried playing it cool. _Good job there._

Arriving at the restaurant, we were seated right away. Sitting in a round booth, Gillian scooted in near me. We sat in the middle and the waiter took our drink order.

“You like seafood right?” I asked picking up the menu.

“Uh no, I’m allergic.”

My eyes looked over at her, my face being to feel warm. _Shit, what do I do now?_ Maybe The Falls will take us in without waiting long. I pulled out my cell looking up their number when her hand touched mine to stop me.

“I’m kidding,” she laughed out. “You should have seen the look on your face.” She continued laughing and I let out a sigh in relief.

“Well aren’t you just a comedian” I said scrunching my face at her.

“I’m sorry, that was too easy.” Grabbing my chin towards her face she gave me a kiss. Okay, maybe she should joke more often.

Interrupting the moment, the waiter returned with our drinks and took our order. Gillian looked at me and I spoke before she had the chance to.

“We’ll take that special order that Orlando has cooked up. Just tell him David is here.” The waiter nodded and walked off.

“Special order?”

“Mhm” giving her a boyish smile. 

She arched her eyebrow, going in for a sip of her drink. “Okay. 

Drinks, meals, and desserts later, both Gillian and I were stuffed. Orlando came through and gave us both the meal of a lifetime.

“No more no more no more” she declared, setting her fork down in defeat. Her dark chocolate mousse cake was half eaten and the strawberries placed on the side of it remained untouched. I chuckled as she gave a face, showing clearly she was done with it. 

“David, I’m going to need to thank your friend in person. This was all delightful. Down to this cake!”

“I don’t think he’ll be able to come out and say hello but I’ll pass along the message for you” I said, as she wisped her finger across the top the cake, grabbing frosting and popping her finger into her mouth. Yeah, definitely thank him later.

Upon arriving at her home, I cut off the engine and we stayed unmoving in the car.

“Thank you for tonight David, I had a really good time. Remember, give Orlando a big thank you for me too.”

“I will, I promise.”

Things were quiet for a bit before she cleared her throat and asked, “Will you stay tonight?”

I didn't respond to her, I only continued looking into her eyes. I moved towards her, going in for a kiss. It was soft and simple, and then she moved her hand to the back of my neck and pulled me in closer. She moaned as our kiss deepened and I could feel her tongue on the outside of my lips. God did I love our kisses. If we didn't go any further than this I'd still consider myself a lucky man tonight. To be able to touch and feel her smooth lips, to feel her breath slow down and quicken with the pace of us was fucking magic.

Gillian moved her hand up to my hair and pulled. I still hadn't touched her, my arms still on the armrest between us. So I went to touch her legs. Her dress was long and I had to pull some of it up before I could slip under and run my fingers up the side of her thigh. She was soft there too. I let my hand rest on her knee and got back to focusing on our kiss, when I felt her part her legs. _Oh shit._

I took that as my cue and I ran my fingers on the inside of her thigh too. Stopping slowly near the top, gliding my thumb over her center, and then coming back down. I did the same to the other side but this time when I reach the top I gripped her thigh tight and Gillian let out another moan. I wanted to slide my hand inside her underwear, I wanted to give her more, hear her pleasure, but we were still in the car.

"I don't care,” she said between our kiss.

I didn't mind but I also wanted to give her more than what my hand could do. I wanted to be selfish, I wanted to taste her and I wanted my mouth to show her how much I loved tonight. 

Pulling me in closer I knew I couldn't deny what she wanted, I didn't care either.

She led the direction of this and I was more than happy to followed.

Even after, when there was nothing to follow.


	5. Chapter 5

 I couldn’t decide if waking up next to her was better than sleeping next her, but they were both exquisite things. After staying the night after our date, my nights with her were becoming more frequent, as were my little reminders to Gillian.

“Mmm, goodmorning” she whispered in my ear as she stretched her limbs over me, settling them around my waist.

“Hi there” I smiled to her. 

I closed my eyes as she began to kiss my neck, letting her lips touch my warm skin. She scraped her teeth against my jaw and I tensed. I loved when she did that. Capturing my lips with hers, Gillian kissed me hard. I opened my mouth to her, letting her tongue through, letting it play with mine. I loved starting off my mornings like this. Her hand caressed my face for a second, gliding it across my cheek before sliding down my chest to my now hardening cock. Slipping her hand into my boxers, she took hold of me and stroked me once. I moaned in her mouth and she formed a grin.

“I missed you,” I basically huffed out.

And it was like she understood completely what I meant. Sure I was sleeping my nights away with her, but when I woke up before her like I did this morning and watched her sleep, I missed her. How is it possible to miss someone who was right next to you?

Gillian threw her leg over and straddled me. We locked lips again, like we hadn’t seen each other in weeks and her hands cupped my face as my hands cupped her ass. Pulling away, she stripped her pajama top and her breasts fell before me. How the hell was I getting sleep lying next to this beautiful woman? In that moment I needed to be inside her, I needed to be connected, and I needed her to know that I loved her.

Flipping us over I yanked her panties down and kissed her hard. She moaned and my hand slipped between her legs. I was prepared to wait, to make sure she was ready. But as I slipped one finger in, her wetness had already given me my answer.

I looked her in the eyes, she gave me a nod and a part of me knew she missed me too. I kissed her softly on the nose and positioned myself at her entrance and slowly entered. I stayed there, only for a moment and kissed . How is it that I love her so much already?

I had all these questions and who knew she’d have a million of her own later.  

//

Gillian was sitting at her table reading over emails when her phone went off.

“Hello? Yes, I can do that. Yeah okay, see you then, thank you.”

I looked up at her from my computer and she said, “My doctor, she wants me to come in today.”

I gave her a silent “oh” and nodded at her. _Had my doctor called me with my results?_

“You can come with me if you want, or stay writing. I know you have that deadline coming up.”

“No I’ll go. You reminded me that I haven’t heard back from my doctor. I think I’ll stop by, let me go call.”

Gillian returned to her task and I left to make the call.

After being on hold for some 10 odd minutes, Dr. Petrie came onto the line.

“David, I apologize for the wait. I was retrieving your results. They aren’t exactly something I want to discuss over the phone. Do you mind coming in?”

“That’s what I was calling about. I can come in today if that’s alright. I was going to be in the area.”

“Yes, today is good. I’ll let the nurses upfront know and I’ll see you then.”

“Alright, see you then.”

The line clicked and I continued to hold the phone to my ear. _Well I guess I’ll find out later than._

_//_

I walked Gillian to the door of her doctor’s office and then headed down to meet mine. She didn’t want me to stay and even though I really didn't mind, I was relieved. I didn’t want her waiting for me at my doctor’s office in case this conversation with Dr. Petrie went on forever.

I had been waiting about five minutes when a nurse in burgundy scrubs called me back and I began feeling a little nervous. Coming to the doctor never made me nervous before, but there was something in the pit of my stomach that wasn’t settling right.

“The doctor will be right in.”

I was left in his office alone. _Great, more waiting._

When I had sat down, the door opened and in he came. _No waiting then._  

“I will cut right to the news, we’ve been friends for some time and there isn’t much point to lollygag. The results aren’t good David, and I’m really sorry I am the one having to tell you the problem, although since we do have familiarity, I’m glad I can also give you the best hope for some kind of solution.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Your biopsy results showed cancer David. And to be frank, it’s at a level I’m worried about, stage 3. Now that we know what it is we can start you on chemo as soon as possible. I think that will be the strongest hope in fighting it, or at least slowing it down for now. I have already called a couple of other doctors…..”

He went on and on and I continue to only focus on cancer. _Fucking cancer. After all the alcohol I drank in getting over my last relationship, this is what I get. Fucking cancer. I can’t even be mad. It’s a cliché story. Boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy wants to marry girl and then boom, boy gets cancer._

“David” Dr. Petrie calls my attention back, “how soon do you want to start?”

If you’re wondering where in the story the happy ending comes, it doesn’t. So if you want to jump ship I would advise to jump now. 

Oh and yes, I did say I wanted to marry the girl.

//

I walked out of his office feeling numb. How was I going to tell her?

“Hi”

There she was, seated in the waiting area.

“I hope you don’t mind. I got out of mine early and since I didn’t see you outside I figured you were still here. How did it go?”

_How was I to answer her? ‘Oh all good, just a little lung cancer. Want to grab lunch?’ or ‘Yeah it’s all fine, I’m just in love with you and I’m dying. Does pasta sound good?’_

“Fine. He said I was fine.” She didn’t know that he needed to see me in person, only that I was stopping by. _Good choice on that, less questions._

“Oh good, me too. My doctor only recommended some more vitamin c and rest. I had low levels of something, I can’t remember. All I heard were that I needed to be on a beach somewhere drinking a mimosa,” she said with a small laugh.

This wonderful, beautiful woman standing in front of me daydreaming about beaches and cocktails knew nothing. And if I was going to be honest with myself, I was going to keep it that way.

“What do you say to a trip then?”

She didn’t respond right away but looked at me with a sparkle in her eyes. _Good move man._

“Are you sure? What about your deadline?”

“Don’t mind my work. What about you, can you get time off from the theatre?”

“We’re only doing pre-production stuff right now, I think I’ll be able to slip away.”

As I realized where we were, I walked us out of my doctor’s office and down to the elevators.

“Where will we go?” Gillian asked while waiting for the elevator to arrive.

“Anywhere you want. You name it, you’re the patient here.”

Gillian faced me, giving me the biggest grin this tiny woman could give and kissed my lips. “I’m thinking Cancun.”

I gave her another quick kiss and pulled her under my chin. _I’m going to keep you as happy as can be. And if that means hiding this small thing, then that’s how it’ll have to be._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate those who read this, I know it's kind of all over the place. And I apologize for taking so long to update.


	6. Chapter 6

Lying on the beach with a beautiful woman is something that inspires poetry and art and all those romantic comedies. Gillian’s bikini was hot and if I were being honest, had this been a secluded beach I would have showed her just how hot she was. Her blue bikini top was undone as she laid on her stomach to even out her tan. She’d been reading a book but had put it down to take a snooze. This woman works hard and taking the trip was a great idea. I know that it was also used as a distraction for my situation but this trip has been the best for us. This is all new territory. New beaches, new shops, and new little adventures. No one knew us and we knew no one. We were marking our own path as we went and I could write a book on that in and of it’s self. Which is where the idea sparked.

Gillian and I laid in bed after having enjoyed early dinner on the balcony of our beach rental. I was going to change the channel when she spoke up.

“What do you want to have for dinner?”

I stopped mind movement in lifting the remote control.

“We just finished dinner…”

“No we didn’t.”

“We had an early dinner on the balcony. We had fish.”

“David, I think I would remember if I’d eaten.” 

David let a beat fall before responding to her, but spoke again before she could.

“Oh wait, no you’re right, I remember now. And we had that yummy crème brulee for dessert right?”

David nodded and Gillian nuzzled her self comfortably into his side. 

_That’s the third time she’s done that. The first couple of times seemed fine but this time, it took her a little longer to remember._

He went along to what he was previously doing and made a mental note to look for her doctor’s number. 

_I’m probably making something out of nothing._

The next morning David woke up early for a run on the beach and left a sleepy Gillian in bed. On his way back he stopped at a small coffee shop and grabbed breakfast for them. When he entered back into the house, it was all still quiet. She’s still sleeping he thought. He entered their bedroom silently, taking of his running shoes and shirt as to not wake her up.

Gillian yelled and David turned to her immediately, trying to find the problem.

“Get out, get out!!”

“Gillian what’s wrong?!” he said stepping towards her.

“Get out, I’ll call the police!!” Gillian yelled at him, backing into the corner of the room, reaching for the phone.

“Gillian it’s me, David! Honey what’s wrong?!

“I’m not afraid of you! I’ll call the police, they’ll be here right now!!”

David looked at this woman in the corner, unable to recognize her. Her eyes were still her’s but they were wide and afraid. The shade of blue was no longer like the light clear ocean right outside their door, but a dark blue, something you see when a storm is coming. And boy was a storm coming.

David back away slowly, not breaking eye contact with the woman who was in the corner. She eyed him carefully, making sure he made no sudden moves, that he was leaving. She stayed watching until she became aware of where she was. It was like she’d woken up and realized she was standing in the corner with David in the frame of the door, eyeing her cautiously.

“I…I’m” she managed out. She couldn’t explain what had happen nor could she comprehend it. She’d forgotten and most importantly she’d forgotten him.

“Gillian?” David said, stepping forward slowly.

She didn’t say a word and she didn’t seem afraid anymore, she was only lost. She didn’t know what happened but as David moved closer to her she sprung to him, wrapping her arms around his neck, letting her tears fall.

“It’s okay,” he said. He held her tight, letting her cry out whatever had occurred.

Time passed and so did her tears. David continued to rub her back as her breathing became steadier. He didn’t know what happened but he was going to hold her close until she was ready.

Hours later the two enjoyed their dinner in silence.

“How are you feeling?” David asked.

“I feel okay…I’m sorry about that, I, I don’t know what happened.”

“Don’t apologize, it’s okay."

David reached across the table to hold her hand, reassuring her that he was there, that it was all okay. He knew deep down something was wrong, but a part of him wasn’t ready to accept it. He was supposed to be the one who was sick, not her. He wanted to shield her from his own sickness and the noticeable memory loss that was happening with her. He wanted to take away all of the bad. She didn’t deserve it. Someone who brought in so much sunshine into his life did not deserve a day of darkness.

“How about we take a little walk on the beach?”

Gillian nodded and both of them stood, David reaching for her hand to lead the way.

As they walked hand in hand across the beach, she took in the moment. She was still worrying about what had happened earlier, but knowing he was there for her, judgment free, made her relax. He had taken it upon himself to plan the entire trip, including planning any activities they wanted to do while they were there. She was grateful for him.

“I love you." 

David wrapped up in his own thoughts only turned his head at her words.

“And I want to thank you for everything,” she said smiling up at him.

He smiled back at her, still processing her words. He’s loved her since day one but she was the one to actually say the words. _She loves me._

David stopped, turning to face her. Wondering how this beautiful woman with ocean eyes and a smile that could make anything day brighter could love him. He caressed her face, Gillian leaning into it.

This is how I’ll remember her. Barefoot, breathtaking, and smiling at the small physical touch I give her. The next part is something I hate having to tell but it’s part of our story, and as much as it hurts, it’s us.

Gillian dropped. It was as sudden as what happened earlier that morning. I caught her as she fell and yelled her name. Her eyes were closed, her limbs collapsed over me, and I kept yelling her name. She was unresponsive and I was scared. _Fuck, please don’t do this to me now._

**Author's Note:**

> this is still a work in progress and my first fic so bear with me please


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